Driving

I think if anything, I'll probably die from a car accident (KNOCK ON WOOD!!). I almost got in an accident today. Which lead to my dad yelling at me. -_______- I can take my mom yelling at me, but when my dad does it, I get ten times more disappointed with myself.

I don't ever want to drive again with my parents. It's such a hassle hearing the same shit over and over and the moral of the story? I SUCK AT DRIVING.

My mom just entered the room telling me that my dad's crying because he thought we were gonna die.

WOW. Such motivation for me to continue driving. -.-

P.S. I'm annoyed at how my blog is apparently invisible to my friends. I'd like for them to read what I blog about. ):

The Good and the Bad

So after ISA, I've just been absolutely obsessed with FM, KevJumba, and the Wong Fu boys. Ugh, I just really want to make some videos like really bad. It just seems sooo much fun. Keyword is FUN. Something I'm in dire need of.

There are actually a bunch of things I want to talk about. So this might be another random but thoughtful blogging day for me.

I went to the ABDC finale taping with Patricia, Francesca, and her boyfriend. CJ and Arling were there too. I wish I watched the season so I wouldn't have been so unenthusiastic about the whole thing.Trish and I was only really excited for Quest Crew and the master mix of GOTDF that three of the crews were gonna dance for. Omfg, if only I snuck in a camera. If only if only. ): I got to hug Hok, Hirano, Steve, and Affion Crockett though. :D

So senior year. So far it's really... okay. Honestly, I rarely find myself pumped for any of the events. Like SCO, I totally want to be there, but at the same time I don't get that family feeling I got from JCO last year. -.- Hopefully it'll hit me soon because I feel like I'm totally slacking in that department. ): Anyway, I'm really determined to do my best academically even though I haven't proved it much yet. College Apps, getting into schools, and what my major has been are all that's flooding my mind recently. Muy serioso. I feel so distant to some of my friends. Like Nicole and Michael. I miss them a whole mess, but it's not like there making much the effort either. I'm leaving it at that. As for my last year in high school in general, the one that I'm supposed to make the most out of, which I'm planning to what with the Bio trip and DCON and what not, but I'm finding myself totally looking forward into the future. As in after High School. I'm totally anticipating what dorming (which I'm really hoping for), turning 18, and traveling will be like. I'm really looking forward to Homecoming though. (: Not that I expect it to be better than last year's, but I just want to dance so bad. Aha.

I've been really thinking about college (AGAIN) and as much as I think going to an East Coast school would be crazy, it's just so out of reach with my friends and family and definitely out of range money-wise. So I'm really hoping for UCSD or UCI. As for my major, it still draws a blank. I'm hoping some serious inspiration hits me fast. ): Would it be too optimistic to apply to Yale on the Questbridge scholarship? It's not impossible right? It is. Oh thanks.

My sister moved out to live in an apartment in Irvine recently. I think this separation is really healthy for our relationship. It helps me appreciate her existence more. Aha, but she came back from her birthday trip in Vegas on Sunday. (I totally forgot to make her a card. SHIT!) A lot of stuff have been happening with her and her friends, but she has these certain friends that had her back though. I find that absolutely amazing. I'm really praying to God I still have them four years from now, for our first trip to Vegas when we hit the big 2-1. We've stuck by each other this long. What's a couple more years, right?

My first monthly choir meeting was on Saturday at 7 in the morning. It was pretty informative, especially the part of me sucking at being president. -____- Ahh. I just really hope for a good year in choir. Jun joined<3 One more step towards my goal. AHA! Kidding.

I ran errands with my sister for about two hours or so today. It was fun. I got some Rosegreen. (: Afterwards Beng stayed with me at home. Matt came a bit afterwards and they were hugging all up under my blanket. D: I admit it makes me feel uncomfortable when they act like that especially in my room, on my bed, but I didn't want to say anything to prevent it from becoming awkward. I hate that. D: It was funny though because I went outside to watch TV and right then Sabrina's parents are coming up the stairs and so I run to tell Sab and matt and we're all freaking out for like two minutes. It was kinda weird, but no yelling or why-is-there-a-boy-here angry looks. Aha. Then Sab left. ): Then Matt and I talked for a bit. I think he's my Carlo. [x Afterwards  Michelle came and her, matt, and I baked cookies, accomplished choir duties, and watched Wong Fu videos<3 I'm assimilating Matt into my YouTube ways. Haha(: So overall today was fun. I have yet to start my hw though. D: So much for being academically on top.

Disneyland on Friday for Trish's birthday! :D I'm really crossing my fingers we get to eat at the Blue Bayou for my own selfish reasons. D: Aha, kidding. We all really want to go there.

It's less than a month till my birthday and I have yet to start on my birthday wishlist. D: Aha. I just tweeted that.

Right at this very moment, I want everything to be over with. School. Clubs. Confirmation.

I wish I could see a year into the future and realize that I don't have to be worried of all those insecurities, doubts, and problems that seem to be making me miserable these past couple of days.

Tired

Why do I feel so disconnected from everyone recently?

Retreat didn't allow me to vent like how I originally planned.

I feel like just writing all my feelings out. But I know if I do, it won't make sense. I need it to make sense, otherwise it would have been pointless. I'm pretty sure if I do, it would be a novel of complete nonsense mumbo jumbo.

Patricia's birthday is coming up. I need to get her a present.

The Before, During, and After

School started last week. I'm not sure why, but I think this is the first year that I can actually grasp what grade I'm in, which is weird since I'm a Senior. School is so and so. I'm freaking upset they didn't have AP Physics. And what sucks even more I can't take up an AP math course because it conflicts with Journalism. -.- What retard made math available only for 4th period?! UGH.

Anyway, Thursday I went to an ABDC taping with Patricia and Michelle. My mom was already iffy about letting me go because school started, but I told her I'd be home around 9, so she gave the okay. Phones are a no-no, so I texted her I'd call her when it was over. The taping ended longer than said, around 10:30, and when I checked my phone it read 9 missed calls and 8 texts from my mom. I knew I was gonna get it when I got home. My mom seriously freaked out. She went all domestic violent on me, which she hasn't done in a while so it was kind of shocking. The thing that got me was that I cried. Usually when we fight I let it go like it was a fluke or whatever, but I when my mom told me I was lying, I felt so horrible. I don't lie to my mom, I have no reason to. So before going on retreat, I typed up this long e-mail to her. We're at a better understanding not at least.

This weekend was Leader's Retreat. And I have to say, it's not much what I expected. If I can sum up that whole retreat in one word, it would be DRAMA. Left and right, something was happening. It was as if there wasn't a moment I could have just had fun. I regret not making much more of an effort to talk to the first year kids the first night and during free time. SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A GAME! D; It's going to make getting closer to them now so much harder. I think Roanne is my favorite first year leader so far though(:

Mark's shirt is pretty dope. I think I like it more than last year's. That one kind of had a lot of words. I'm absolutely happy choir is on again, I love it(:

Then Geni's debut practice right after church. Michael and I have both steps for the waltz and swing down, but our swing apparently sucks because we just dance and don't go with the rhythm. Ugh, man the choreographer makes me feel so dumb, like I drop 10 IQ points every time we have practice.

School tomorrow. Oh, I also might be transferring into this film production class with Cassie. I'm kind of excited, but at the same time I hope it doesn't suck. Oh well, Wong Fu started somewhere too. UCSD. PFFT! -____-'

At some point, I may be hypocritical for saying this, but ignorant people disgust me.

I'll elaborate later. >_>

Dance Like Michael Jackson... to the Beat!

I pause every couple chapters on my assignment to surf the web. I've been listening to FM's Animal album since seven this morning and the verse that Prohgress and J-Splif came up with from Dance like Michael Jackson is so genius. I love it.  

Deep breath and I’m ready for action, Dance Like Michael Jackson…
I Don’t Stop, cuz I’m the King Of Pop, spin around and I grab my crotch
Just move to the rhythm, I’m looking at the Man In The Mirror
and he’s looking right back, i got one thing to ask… Who’s Bad?
You can’t do it like me, break it down to the ABC’S
Bad to the bone, grab the phone,
I’m a Smooth Criminal, You Are Not Alone.
It don’t matter if your Black Or White,
Everybody get down when I’m on the mic, and the party
Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough
Cuz the FAR EAST MOVEMENT is DANGEROUS

The video's pretty tight too. Not to mention it was produced by Wong Fu and had Quest Crew in it<3

Also, I'm reading Wong Fu's blog right now. They're so cool. >.<

Okay, back to the books!

Nala

One year ago yesterday, Nala died.

Sometimes when I come home late at night, and I'm not really thinking, I expect her to come running towards me when I open the door. But it's dead quiet when I step in.

I wish I had her for a couple more years.

I've been kinda wanting to ask my parents for a new dog. I just don't know how to bring it up. Maybe Christmas?

I'm an International Secret Agent!

Last thursday was the jerking episode of ABDC and it was a total fail. Ahaha, watching the show I mean, the day wasn't. After the last day of choir camp [I made president , btw >_<] I went to Patricia's house to get ready for ABDC. We got to the place around five and waited for like two hours only to be told we wouldn't make the show. It wasn't such a loss though because Patricia, Francesca, and I went to eat at Noodle World and take cues. Two of things I've been waiting to do for God knows how long. We went to Yogurtland afterwards and I backed out of their car. x] That was... interesting to say the least. So Thursday NOT WASTED!

So if any of you guys are following me on twitter, I'm extremely sorry for blowing up your timeline last Saturday. There was a contest by ISA for two people to win the last VIP tickets to their concert. And I desperately wanted those tickets. So from nine o'clock that morning to ten that night, I tweeted my heart out that I'd get those tickets. And guess what? I got them. [:

It was so upsetting though because the other girl that won, tweeted oh about twenty times while I was updating literally every ten minutes. -____- But in the end I won a VIP ticket for free no less, so I'm happy. 

There was this one girl, Karen, who posted her number up on twitter and so Wong Fu and KevJumba called her up and gave her another VIP ticket. She didn't have anyone to hang with and since I sold her my other ticket, she hung out with us. She was cool, a little obnoxious at times, but you could tell she makes friends easily.

There was a little trouble with our tickets because our names weren't on Willcall, but Tom Ngo sorted it out. He remembered my name from twitter! >.<>

Anyway, the concert was AMAZING. I swear, Far East Movement is so awesome live. And they're just generally really nice people so it's like twice as amazing to see them. Omfg, my heart literally goes out to Quest Crew. If only I could've gotten a picture with D-Trix): I love watching dancers and their faces when they perform. GLP was freaking great too. They're intro was Power Rangers. Haha, priceless. And Wong Fu is funny. Like seriously, I love them<3

Next year, I seriously want backstage tickets. If that doesn't work though, I need to get pit. Like seriously!

Watching Wong Fu videos and basically seeing the whole concert has made me realize how much I want to do these kinds of things. I mean, I'm always for making videos and stuff, but I never go the extra mile to do so. But I really I think being famous on YouTube is so cool. Like, I think I'd be more excited to meet Wong Fu again than... let's say Miley Cyrus. I think I really want to start trying to make videos though. I'm not camera shy and I can be pretty witty sometimes. I think at least. I just wished I went to that film making workshop with Trish and Michelle so I could have seen how the process really works. Gah. >.<>

It was definitely a great way to end summer. Coming up: Senior Year! Definitely some mixed up emotions for that.

I have school in less than 48 hours and I haven't even finished the How to Read Literature Like a Professor. I'm going to be at home for the two days. Ugh, shoot me. );

Concert Choir President

So I'm pretty sure I'm concert choir president. I think? Ms. Lee doesn't seem so definite in that decision, unfortunately. I feel like she keeps making up excuses to make me NOT president. So I was late more than a couple times last year. It's not like my failure to attend class on time affected me in the long run. And it makes me upset that she didn't automatically make me president. It's not like I expected her to hand it to me, but I thought it was pretty clear I wanted it most and I don't believe I've done something so horrible to make her doubt my dedication to choir. Unless, leaving for the Philippines and missing the Winter Concert counts. I'd do a great job as president. I only had four freaking years learning the ropes. I guess it just makes me mad because I feel like I deserve it most and even till now I'm technically not guaranteed the title yet. -.-

Another thing. Sabrina's in choir now. And as happy as I am she's in it, I'm so sure her joining is just another thing to add to the list of what she does better than me. I hate being in a family where the adults categorize the kids in the "manners," "smarts," and "looks" department. Everything is a competition in that family. Hell, we even try to one up each other with birthday cards. It would be so much more easier if me and Sab hated each other, but we're each other's best friend. She's the only person that comes to mind who would jump at the chance to watch classic Disney movies with me. She knows exactly how weird I can be when I'm hyper to the max. The only person who understands the pressures of being in my family. Which is why I hate that I'm hesitating to be happy at the fact she's in choir.

Sabrina played the goody girl, while I played the funny one. When we'd have to make speeches at family parties Sab would make this adorable talk while I cracked a couple jokes in my dialogue. Sab always got the better grades, she had the pretty hair, she can dance her butt off, and carry one hell of a tune. While my grades were decent, my hair described as messy at best, no talent at grooving to the beat, I could at least hit all the right notes.  Singing was supposed to be my own special haven, the one thing I can show off in my family because she's not there to say I'm better. I think that's why I need to be choir president. Not even something to just put on my resumes. So I can secure my position as a very important person in choir. But gah. >.<

I'm overreacting. If anything, Sabrina being in choir will only make Senior year better. I'm being self-absorbed.

School's starting in like 8 days and I have yet to read more than half of the first out of three books I'm supposed to be reading. Not to mention the actual analyzing part. I am seriously lagging it.

At least ABDC and ISA are this week. I need to hit my last week off with a bang. And one more trip to Disneyland? If only I could fit in my homework somewhere in there. Ugh. Keeping my fngers crossed.