I haven't blogged on here in a while and it makes me sad because up till now, my blogs have been my only true release of what is really going on in my head. Other than my friends of course, but there's something about blogging that really just lets everything come out.

Well, the past few weeks have been a complete mixture of good and bad.

I finished my first semester of senior year with straight A's in all seven of my classes something I am indeed proud of. I think I'm the only senior with a full schedule. -.- Hopefully my rank boosted. I know it won't make a difference for college apps, but jut my own satisfaction I really hoped I bumped up a lot.

As far as senior year goes, I'm really realizing who I'm going to be able to stay friends with. It's depressing knowing that I believed at one point we could actually stay friends, but if we don't even talk so much now, then there's not much hope for the future is there? But then again, a lot can change in a few months so what the fuck do I know?

I know I'm completely wrong when I say this, but I find high school pointless, now. I just want to sleep in all my classes. I want to know what colleges I got into already. I want pretty much everything to be over with. Not in the sense I am over high school because I'm excited for Dustbowl, prom, grad night, etc., but all of the formalities and such are just too much of a hassle for me.

Home life isn't looking so good either. And with the increasing tension I feel at home, it only makes me wish college to come faster. The thing is I don't even get what in the fuck we're fighting about. It just blew up into this stupid text fight. LIKE ALWAYS.

All of these words of hurrying to get to the future are spilling out so quickly that I know I'll regret it once I'm there, but at this exact moment I couldn't wish for anything more.

I hate these times when I don't know what to do.